The Elder Scrolls Fandom Community

I have decided to rejoin Tumblr. But I am aggressively filtering, blacklisting, curating who and what I interact with, and blocking anyone who even gives off bad vibes.

Here is my blog:

https://www.tumblr.com/mslovelyrita\

I'm still not going to be as active on there as I am on here, but I really missed my friends who are not anywhere else. I'm slowly moving my fics over there because the ask fic exchange was one of the best memories I have of an otherwise nightmarish site.

I had unhooked my computer for about a month to try and go through an internet detox. It didn't really work, I just ended up skyrocketing my screen time on my phone instead. Last night, I finally hooked it back up. And it's honestly such a huge relief because, damn, I have missed typing on an actual keyboard. You can only go so long typing on a phone screen without fucking something up.

Do you know the saying "the internet used to be a place"? It's often referring to the time when the internet was designated to a single computer in a designated room in the house or a library terminal. I think the first time I ever used the internet was probably in 2008, when I was in the first or second grade. I'd always have to ask for permission to use the family's computer because my parents always reiterated what a dangerous place it was and how important it was that I never trust anyone or give my personal info online. And that's something I had instilled into me because I don't even use my real name online (no, Rita is not my real name).

But every time I would log onto the Wi-Fi, it always felt like an adventure. It started out with just watching my favourite music videos on YouTube (I remember getting scolded for singing along to a song with a cuss word. Actually, I remember the exact song: it was Bitch by Meredith Brooks). And then my dad introduced me to online games like Poptropica, and then I found all these other games to play online; FreeRealms, Build-A-Bearville… I played Clone Wars Adventures a lot when I was going through my Star Wars phase. And so many of them do not exist any more, which is such a shame because it was such a fun era for kids to just play online, treating these safe websites like a playground, and now you have eight-year-olds doing skin care routines on TikTok when they don't need that shit. There's no place for kids to be kids any more.

But it made me remember how excited I would get when being allowed to play on the family computer. And when we couldn't afford internet, I would just type up stories on the WordPad or pretend that I was writing up my own blog.

And when I remembered that the internet used to be a place that I would visit, I realized that by using my phone all the time, it felt like I was just living there. It became less like a fun trip to the mall and more like an abusive relationship you felt guilty for walking out on.

And while technology has certainly changed a lot, I can still reclaim that feeling. I have got rid of all the social media accounts that caused me a lot of stress and dread (IG, Facebook, Tumblr, Reddit, etc.), and I downloaded an app that allowed me to organize my phone to make it as close to a dumb phone as possible. Detox mode has blocked the browser and every app except for the bare necessities (phone, texts, camera/photos, music, notes, and map). And when I sit down at my computer, I no longer feel a sense of dread every time I open the browser. Because I am no longer keeping it in my pocket, it feels like I can use what little time I have on here to do something productive.

And honestly, it feels good to view the internet as a place. Like, the one place I can let loose and be myself.

Now that I have access to a proper keyboard, I will be doing a lot of writing again. I have a lot of Jimbert prompts listed out that I want to try making fics out of (mostly fluff). Ever since I have left Tumblr, I have felt a lot more comfortable about exploring this as a fictional pairing. Because the Tumblr fanbase was insufferable to say the least (there was a very aggressive portion of the fanbase that did NOT believe that the pairing was fictional and called anyone who disagreed homophobic). It actually turned me off from shipping bandmates all together (and this is coming from someone who wrote fanfic shipping the guitarists of Iron Maiden together before I got into Zeppelin). Like, my Dave/Janick series that I had planned on making into a trilogy has been on hold for the past three years, that's how much my perspective changed while I was in that fandom. So getting away from that toxic environment and muting all the annoying people on AO3 definitely helped. But the main thing that made me want to start exploring this ship was reading From Eroica With Love; which if you know what that is, it is high key Led Zeppelin RPF.

It just feels so good to finally associate the internet with freedom again.

Like, when I am sitting at this computer desk, I can be whoever I want to be. I have a social life and friends. I have deeply missed this, and it makes me wonder why I left in the first place.

I spent so much money on my PS5, saving up for ages before finally being able to buy it in late 2022. And every single time I've played it, I have gotten so nauseous. I used to only get this way when I played FPS games, but now it's any time I attempt to play games on my TV! This irks me because it's such a good console and there's so many games I want to get back into playing.

I love Black Sabbath’s early albums so much, it’s not even funny. Their stuff with Ronnie James Dio was incredible, don’t get me wrong, but Ozzy gave the band a certain kind of soul that is hard to replicate.